


The Undercover Officer and The Ex-Criminal That Always Seemed To Destroy Him

by BooBoogara



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, I HATE YOU, I'm so sorry, M/M, NO SMUT OK, Please Love me, angst kinda, bc i'm lazy, classic, he's a big baby in here it's cute, i tried to write them as accurately as possible but I'm bad, i'm bad at this i know, i'm sorry for the 1000th time, it's like, oh boy, owo, shyan, smooch smooch, stuff happening, sure, tags will probably be updated as i go, there is also weird assumptions sometimes that make shane frustrated lol, they hate each other at first basically, this story is SO SO LONG, we got some, we're doing that, yes - Freeform, yes there will be flufff, you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:53:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooBoogara/pseuds/BooBoogara
Summary: Destroy? Maybe it was too harsh of a word. But the more this force of nature Shane got to know that partner of his, the more he'd be built up, then immediately ripped down.Could they get along to bring one of the worst drug kingpins of New York down?Could the two even begin to deal with each other before setting out on such a tough assignment?It numbed Shane's temples and made him crinkle his nose. This Bergara kid was more than a handful.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I'm back with some good soft bad boy stuff but like, not bad bad, more like .... cool bad (insert sunglasses emoji)  
> I'll let yall know this is gonna be a wild ride and a lot of reading, I tried to muster all the detail I could but some parts are still,, eheh lackluster i guess. I hope this is enjoyable for yall and yes there is lots of fluff and cute shit but also a lot of :( but not too much bc these boys have a JOB to do and they r baddies.
> 
> Also full disclaimer I'm kind of sure an ex-con can work with police to get their sentence reduced but I'm not sure if that applies to going undercover, but I just wrote it how I wanted to so if any cops out there flame me for being inaccurate, I am SO SORRY and I love you 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: there is sex-working and prostitution briefly talked about here but it WILL BE in the next chapter and overall lots of drug talk and cursing in this, so please beware. If there is something specifically and perhaps triggering in a specific chapter I will let you know beforehand so please keep an eye out!!
> 
> okay enough talkin, please enjooyoyo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undercover Cop Shane Madej knew what he was doing. Sure, he was alone. But it was good for him.   
> That's what he thought until he got the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Idk why but my notes for this chapter decided to delete and got all jumbled up with chapter two, so if there's a funky note on 2, I'm sorry :( but thanks for taking the time to read!
> 
> tw : swearing, drugs, prostitution

A huff escaping him, Shane suddenly felt too hot in his zip up hoodie and jean jacket, slapping himself in the cheeks a few times. Work was stressing him out a little too much tonight as he stood out on the street corner. It was colder outside than it usually was in New York. He looked to the sky. It was going to rain.

Shane could see a man approaching him from his left side, and he turned to the short and skinny suspicious looking guy with a smile, hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” the tall man said, taking a step forward. “You got the goods?”

The other guy looked paranoid, staring around as he started digging around in his big coat pockets.

“Yeah.”

As soon as the bag of cocaine was pulled out, the man couldn't help but smirk like an idiot. It was handed to him, and then he put it in his jacket.

“Alright,” it was now Shane reaching into his pocket, pulling out a shiny pair of handcuffs. This was his favorite part of the job, mainly because he looked so cool. “You're under arrest. Turn around.”

The dealer began to sweat immediately, swearing under his breath and turning away, ready to run. But it was already too late, as two squad cars pulled up onto the sidewalk rather dramatically, ready to take the guy into custody.

This was the life of the undercover cop Shane Madej. He loved his job, even though it felt like he was closer to death every day.

Back at the police station, he watched the shaky drug dealer get dragged away in cuffs, screaming about how dead Shane was going to be when he got out. _If_ he got out.

He sat back in his chair with his arms crossed, smile ceasing to fade. Another bad guy put away for good.

“You look happy.” Shane's boss, Sara, was watching him at his desk, grinning down at him. There was something she was holding onto, it seemed. “Another good day?”

“Oh, it was a good day all right.” As Shane watched her more closely, he saw the paper in her hand, and automatically sat up like a dog being offered a treat, eyes seeming to sparkle. A hum escaped him, a tiny grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Have something else for me?”

Sara exhaled, brow cocked. “This one's a kicker. Seems like you're going to get a partner soon, cowboy.”

“Wait, _what_?” All excitement that the man had on his face seemed to leave in less than a second. “You can't say something like that like it’s nothing. You're joking, right?”

“Look for yourself.” She handed him the paper, not necessarily unhappy, but just plainly feeling bad for him. Shane looked over the paper quickly, only scanning over the text briefly.

“An… ex-con. You're going to put me with an _ex-con_?” Tossing the paper down on top of his desk, he couldn't contain his in the moment anger. “This is bullshit.”

“He's coming in tomorrow. He's going to be with you on a pretty big bust in the upcoming weeks, so I'm going to set you guys up with a small job until then so you can get used to each other. Sound good?”

“Not gonna lie, sounds pretty shitty.” Grumbling, he turned ever so slightly in his chair. “He better not be an asshole.”

“Eh, I met him in his holding cell not too long ago. He's nice, but kind of aggressive. He _is_ an ex-criminal after all.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, chief? Since when did I ever need a partner?”

“Shane, to be honest, you seem kind of… lonely sometimes. This’ll be good for you. Besides, you're the only undercover guy we have that could possibly deal with him. Ned is too sappy, and Eugene is just too… you know we couldn't do that to him.”

“So you had to do it to me? Jesus, Sara.” He looked away. “I'm gonna rip that kid a new asshole.”

“Don't be too hard on him, okay? He had a really troubled past.”

“Troubled past.” The man rolled his eyes. “You really think that changes anything? You think it makes him a sad little doggy that needs a good owner to change him? I'm not gonna be that owner.” He pointed to himself, shaking his head. “If he's a douche I'm not gonna put up with him, even if he had a shitty life.”

“Wow.” Sara grinned, starting to walk away. “You really are evil, Shane. I'll be in my office if you need me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Typically, he'd bother his boss for longer, but his mood really took a turn for the worst. Tomorrow was going to be the worst day of his career.

_What if I just quit now? What if I just got up out of my chair and walked out? It’d save me a lot of heartache._ Shane shook off the thought. No. This was his job. He couldn’t just throw away his life work. Besides, if he left now he was 99% sure that without the protection of the police, he’d be dead before sundown. Every gang and drug ring wanted him dead. He couldn’t just… leave.

But honestly, he couldn't imagine a big, burly, muscular man by his side, fighting crime. Someone with tattoos all over their face could never look unsuspecting.

At least this is the kind of person Shane thought he'd be paired up with.

“Fuck.” Putting his head in his hands, Madej leaned on his desk, ready to have a crisis.

“Shane.” His small little coworker, Zach came up to the man, brows pulled down. “I heard the news.” He held a few big binders against his chest, probably going to make copies or get some coffee. The copy and faculty room was right next to Shane’s desk, after all. This wouldn't be far fetched, seeing as Zach was always doing errands or running around the office.

“Oh. Chief isn’t giving me a break this year, huh?” He feigned a grin as he solemnly looked up at his friend, sighing.

“You know, if I was in your department I’d totally look after the guy. But you know I can’t. An ex-con sounds scary either way, though.” His sad, tiny smile said it all. _I feel for you man._ Shane could tell that there was some sort of specific tone in his voice, as if he knew that Shane couldn’t handle having someone else next to his side. He took that as a challenge, perking up right away. Brow raised, Shane propped his elbow into his desk, leaning to his side.

“You know what? I’m absolutely looking forward to it. And you know, I’m even _excited_. The guy seems cool.”

Zach was very clearly taken aback.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Do you… know his name yet? Where’s he’s from?”

“Not sure yet. It probably says in his paperwork, but…” he motioned to the stack on his desk, “... I want to ask him myself.”

“Wow, Shane. That’s… that’s pretty cool.” Zach was grinning wide now, shoulders raising slightly. “I’ll see you later. It was good seeing you!”

After his coworker was far away from him, Shane couldn’t help smirking to himself. _Yeah, I am pretty cool._

Paranoia was biting him in the back of his mind, and while he did all the paperwork on the drug bust from earlier that day, he couldn’t control his wild thoughts no matter how he looked at the situation. Shane told himself that shouldn’t be worried, because if anything happened, he’d just beat the guy’s ass. But he was so used to being alone that it became comfortable for him. And if the guy was huge and too buff to punch out, he would be shit out of luck. There was no way some ex-convict could just come into his life and they’d actually get along. He hadn’t even met the guy yet, but Shane just _knew_.

He already had started hating him.

Trying to hide his feelings of anguish, Shane buried himself in his work, refusing to look up or make eye contact with anyone. He could feel his chest tightening.

By the time he stopped zoning out, he peered at the clock on the wall, and was surprised to find that it read 2:00. Two in the morning, that is. He stared around his office, the usually bustling office only holding two or three people in sight.

Across the room, his coworker looked over and they accidentally locked eyes.

“Shane?” It was Keith, the happy, smiley life of the station. He was holding a coffee in his hand when he spoke with a miniscule, worried little grin on his face. “You should go home.”

“Yeah, I…” As soon as the tall, lanky man stood, he got a headrush, and put his hand on his forehead as if that would help subdue the pain. Voice raspy and barely inaudible, he glanced away. “I should go.” He snatched his jacket off the back of his chair and grabbed his keys off his desk.

Should he be driving? Probably not. But did he get into his car, head pounding, hands shaking, palms sweating? Yes, of course he did. Who else was going to take care of him? He was alone.

Driving home wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, though the colors of the neon signs blended into each other and he hit a curb twice. Getting into his apartment though, that was the tough part. He couldn't really see the hole very well to put the key in, and the dimly lit hall lights were not exactly helping either. He lived on the third floor of his building, which happened to be the top floor of the complex. It was a quiet, quaint apartment life when his neighbors weren't fucking or blasting Nelly Furtado.

Finally, the key slid into the lock and he turned his wrist, the door opening and the smell of ten different candles hitting his nose.

Shane guessed he was just going to crash on the couch tonight. He couldn't bear to walk all the way into his bedroom. He was sure his legs would give out.

Shane really didn't understand why his body was being so dramatic. He somewhat knew what he was doing, but fear was nipping at him anyway, leading him down a pathway to destruction, no doubt. Having someone new just ruin his work, ruin his years of loving the rush of doing his dangerous work alone, killed him inside. Another dangerous man to do a dangerous job with? It didn't sound appealing to him. In fact, it sounded disgusting to him. As he lay on the couch with his forearm resting across his eyes, he felt like throwing up. Shane shouldn't have been so overweening with Zach today. It made him feel worse, knowing that he was going to have to act friendly towards this stranger ex-con, at least in front of the people in the station. What was the worst part was that he felt like he was going to die. Like this person was going to stab him in the back. This person was once a criminal, so they shouldn't be trusted, Shane knew that much. But God, did he feel uneasy.

This partner was going to be the death of him.

  


Getting to work in the morning was one of the most underwhelming and uncomfortable experiences Shane had ever had in his life. The fact that he was going to meet that train wreck criminal made his blood boil and thoroughly cook his insides. As he parked in the lot behind the police station, Shane turned off his car, then waited. What if he just never went inside?

_No. Come on, Madej. You can do this. You're the number one undercover cop in New York. You can do this._

He almost tripped over his feet getting out of the car. As he was walking up to the doors, he breathed in, then exhaled harshly. _No need to worry. I can just go into the bathroom before Sara finds me and takes me to meet the guy. I can just stay in there for a bit and collect myself. I'm okay_.

But when he was finally in the building, he saw that they were already there, at his desk. Waiting.

“Oh fuck.”

“Shane!” The chief waved over to him. He could see the outline of a shorter man behind her, but couldn't see his face yet.

In that moment, Shane wholeheartedly wanted to die.

Walking over with a smile, he greeted Sara, wincing. She took a step to her side, opening her arm up, presenting the man.

“I'd like you to meet your brand new partner, Ryan Bergara.”

As soon as Shane could see him, he laughed out loud. _This_ was the big and scary criminal he was worrying about? This was a munchkin.

“Sara. Oh God, Sara. You have to be kidding me. This is him?” Shane laughed some more, finding it a bit hard to breathe. Why was he _ever_ nervous?

Ryan chewed on the inside of his cheek, brows pulled down.

“Excuse me?” His chest seemed to flare out at the remarks he was receiving.

“Oh wow, even his voice is tiny.” Shane couldn't contain his giddiness, covering a hand over his wide smile. “You should have showed me a picture of him first!”

“Shane, you're being rude. Ryan's been through a lot.”

“Well, he sure doesn't look like a lot.” Taking a finger, Shane began to prod it into Bergara's cheek, letting a small “pfft” escape from in between his pursed lips. “Are you sure you're even legal to be considered a criminal, little man?”

“I'm legal enough to beat your ass.” Ryan snatched Shane by the wrist, pushing his hand away from him.

“Ouch, he's feisty.” When Madej looked over at Sara with his big grin, she looked anything but pleased. His smile dropped. Tough crowd, it seemed.

“Ryan, this is Shane. He may be kind of an ass to you at first, but he's actually really sweet.”

“Well, thank you.” Shane hummed. He looked back to Ryan, head cocked. “But in all honesty I will probably never stop being an ass to you.”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. All he said was: “I could kill you.”

“Oh, that's very cute.” Petting the top of Ryan's head, Shane looked over to his boss, brows raised. “I think I can take it from here.”

Sara shook her head and began to walk away when shane called out to her. “I've always wanted a puppy, Sara, thanks!”

Screw what he said earlier. Maybe he did want a dog to take care of. A dog named Ryan.

The shorter man took a step back, again pushing Shane's hand away from him.

“If you’d stop calling me names now, I'd really apprecia--”

“I should give you a nickname. Like Fluffy or Snowflake.”

“I'm not your fucking pet!” Keeping his arms crossed, Bergara was _fuming_. To Shane, he still looked tiny and adorable, so he couldn't help but gleam.

“You're not gonna believe me when I say this, but I was so nervous to come into work this morning. I thought I'd have to be dealing with some huge, thick drug lord or something. But if you don't talk, it's like I can't even see you! You little invisible boy, you.”

“How old do you think I am, exactly? Because we're probably like, the same age. Just because you're as tall as the jolly green giant doesn't mean shit. Did you even read my file? I'm not even a drug lord. Jesus.”

“I'll let you know this, Ryan. Your file looked very long, and very boring. I'm a busy man.”

“Oh, I'm sure you are. Since we're wasting time standing around and chitchatting when we could be doing something, I don't know, a bit more productive, I'm really sure you're so _busy_ all the time.”

“Oh, wow. A criminal that _wants_ to cooperate with the police? I'm surprised.”

“An **ex** -criminal, Shane. God, as soon as I saw you I already knew that you were a fucking idiot.”

“Holy-- you better watch your mouth, young man, or I will thoroughly slap it.” Shane raised his arm as if he was about to do it, and when Ryan flinched, the taller man let out another hearty laugh, pleased with himself.

“Will you shut up now? Or I don't know, read my file so we can better understand each other? This is annoying.” Looking away, Ryan's cheeks were flushed from embarrassment. He was five foot ten… ish. How dare he get called tiny.

“How can someone like you be some big, bad convict? It's endearing, really. And no, I refuse to read your file. It's probably lame, like I said.” Sitting back on the top of his desk, Shane let out a small suppressed chuckle, one brow raised. “You say you want to work, anyway? You know the kind of stuff I do, right?”

“Yeah, undercover. I was able to choose my punishment and so I chose something that I thought would be sort of fun. I didn't know I'd be having to deal with an ass like you the whole time.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Back it up, baby. Did you just say… fun? Sort of fun?” He sat up, taking a step forward To Ryan. The shorter man refused to make eye contact, as he knew he was about to get chewed out. Shane didn't looked happy. “This shit is dangerous, Bergara. I recommend you go back into the chief's office and beg on your knees for you to serve your time some other way, because one fuck up, and you're dead. You hear me?”

“Ye--”

“You'll be fucking cold and dead, and if you think no one cares about you now, they will _not_ care about you when your body is floating in some river somewhere, unidentifiable. Now look at me. Look at me in the fucking eyes.”

Ryan lifted his head up, and Shane almost broke his seriousness. Bergara looked genuinely hurt, worried, like he was really taking what Shane was saying to heart. His eyes were glazed over as if he was about to cry, head hanging as he stared up at his superior. The taller man was surprised to say the least.

“You…” Shane cleared his throat, then pointed a finger over to his boss’ office. “You have to go tell the chief that you can't do this. You'll die, Ryan. I'm serious.”

A second of silence went by.

“No one is going to care if I die.” Like a wave of confidence washed over Bergara, he lifted his head up, staring Shane right in the face. “I can do this. With you. I'm not going to quit. I know what I'm in for.”

Shane stepped back, nodding.

“Well.” He swallowed hard, turning away. “Now you know.”

“And if you die first,” Ryan started, “I won't leave you, Shane. Your boss really cares about you.”

Shane turned back as quickly as he could, and got as close to Ryan's face as he could possibly manage.

“Excuse me, Bergara? What did you just say to me?”

“I-I was trying to be sincere. It seems like there are people who care about you here, so I…--”

Taking a fistful of Ryan's tee, Shane pulled him even closer, voice low. Ry didn't dare break eye contact, starting to stress sweat.

“Don't ever fucking try to be sincere ever again, or I'll be the one killing you myself. Don't you _ever_ open your mouth to me like that again, or I swear to God, I will rip it off of your face.”

“O-Okay, I get it.”

“And don't call me by my first name, either. You call me officer Madej, or you don't call me anything at all. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir, officer Madej.” Voice tight, pitched upwards, Ryan couldn't help but wince, nose scrunched up out of sheer panic. This cop guy was fucking _insane._

Shane had to step away before he really caused something, so he released Ryan, making him stumble back a few inches. He looked around the room, and yes, a few people were staring. Letting out a deep huff, he decided he'd go clear his head in the bathroom. It was somewhat of a safe haven for him. So, that's where he went.

Shane guessed that Ryan had hit a nerve somewhere, sure. He didn't want to hear about the people who gave a shit about him, because Shane had always thought that no one did. Who was Ryan to just come in his life and make assumptions like that? It was annoying.

But it was also just as he thought.

He really did hate that Bergara kid.

While Madej was splashing some water on his face, he didn't realize that his coworker had come in.

“Oh, hi Shane. Is that guy with the slicked back black hair your new partner? He seems nice.” It was Zach, and he stood with his hands in his pockets. He looked uncomfortable, but at the same time it was probably just because he had to use the restroom. Shane lifted his head from the sink and used his shirt's sleeve to dry his face, turning to look at his friend.

“What do you know about him?”

“He's going around introducing himself to everyone who's not on duty. I showed him where the faculty room was and he started making everyone coffee. He seems like a nice guy.”

Had Shane been in the bathroom for _that_ long? How come this guy was already crafting alliances? Was this some sort of game?

It was like he couldn't speak. Shane opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out. He took a second to clear his throat.

“That sounds… good.”

“Yeah! I hope you guys are getting along. I bet you two are going to make a great team.”

It seemed like the conversation expired, leaving a sour taste in the lanky man's mouth. He decided then to exit the bathroom, brushing past Zach with a sigh.

It was a funny feeling. He didn't like this guy Ryan, sure, but it felt like the feeling was deeper than that. Like he was more or less being replaced. Everyone liked that suspicious guy now, even though he was just freshly put inside the station. Shane better that he made the workers feel special, even if he just got them a cup of coffee.

Madej had to put a stop to that.

When he got back to his desk, Ryan wasn't there. So, he decided to look in the faculty room, and voila.

There the smaller man was, three cups of coffee in his hands. As soon as Bergara looked over, Shane could tell by the look on his face. His heart totally just dropped.

“Sha-- uh, officer Madej. Do you want a coffee?” His voice was miniscule, as if Ryan was caught in some sort of unspeakable act. That, and he probably really didn't want to ask.

Shane was quick to take the three flimsy styrofoam cups from him, walking over to the trash can and promptly throwing them away.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Ryan's fight or flight instinct kicked in, and he headed over to Shane, grabbing him by the shoulder.

He automatically regretted it.

Shane turned around, taking Ryan by the wrist.

“Don't touch me. And don't do stupid shit like this either. I get that you're mad that I yelled at you, but what are you trying to do? Win everyone over so they'll like you more than they like me? Cut it out, Bergara. No one is going to appreciate you here.”

“I think you have something twisted.” Ryan tried to shake Shane loose, but when it wasn't working, he let out a huff, rolling his eyes. “I'm just trying to be nice to my future coworkers. And you? What's your problem? I don't give a shit if they end up liking me more than you. I'm just trying to be kind.”

“You're an ex-criminal. There's no way you're just trying to be nice unless you want something.”

“I just want you to leave me alone! You don’t know anything about me, Shane. Let go of me!”

“It's officer Madej!”

 

“Uh, is everything okay?”

The voice startled the both of them, and in response, Shane pulled his arm up, pulling Ryan in for an awkward hug. The taller man looked up at his coworker with a fake grin, brows raised.

“Heeeey, Eugene! Good to see ya. Just gettin' friendly with my new partner!”

The handsome young man stood in the doorway of the faculty room, staring at the two, clearly confused.

“I can see that. I'm happy you two are… getting along.”

Anyone that could see Ryan squished up against Shane's chest would question it. The hug did not look comfortable, nor consensual.

“Are you thirsty? Want me to get you some coffee?” Shane was talking rather fast, a huge smile plastered on his face. Eugene watched Ryan squirm, trying to speak, yet his voice was muffled by Shane grabbing his head and pushing it further against his abdominal area.

“No, I… actually forgot why I came in here. Ha ha.” A dry laugh. “I'll see you later.” He left as fast as he came, obviously not wanting to get too involved.

As soon as Eugene was out of sight, Shane released his partner, grimacing.

“That was disgusting, and I will sue you if you ever pull shit like that again.” The look Ryan gave Shane was supposed to be full of anger, but the taller man just couldn't take him seriously. He really did remind him of a puppy.

“Trust me, I didn't enjoy it either.”

“You seriously don't know anything about me, Shane.”

“I _told_ you, it's officer Madej.”

“I guess you could say I was scared of you at first, but I guess I just realized you're a cocky bastard who has to hug his enemies rather than punch them in the face in fear of getting in trouble. It's laughable.”

“What did you just say?”

Ryan took a step closer to Shane, fully knowing he was pushing his buttons. Hard.

“You know what I said. And to be honest, I rather…” Bergara took a step closer to his partner, poking him in the chest. “... _die_ than refer to you as officer Madej. You don't deserve such a title.”

“Oh, you're gonna die. I can promise you that.” Again, like he had done before at his desk, Shane grabbed Ryan by the front of his shirt, pushing his back against the staff room counter.

“Try me.”

Shane raised his fist, fully ready to punch Ryan in the jaw. But when he heard the door to the faculty room open again, he released, took Ryan into his arms once again, and began to give him a noogie.

“Shane, there you are. And… mister Bergara?”

It was Sara, standing with a stack of papers in her hands. She looked worried when she saw the taller man pushing Ryan back onto the countertop, rubbing his fist into the smaller man's scalp.

“Oh, hey boss! Just givin' the new guy some love.” Shane merely looked over to her, refusing to let go of Ryan, his rubbing against his head getting stronger, more painful.

“Please help…” Ryan's voice was barely audible. “He's smothering me.”

Sara set her papers down on the table that sat in the middle of the room and rushed over, breaking the two apart in one swift movement.

“Shane!” Head moving to face in his direction, Sara was getting up close and personal with Shane, not afraid to lay down the law. “You can't treat your partner like a plaything! Why do you have to insist on annoying him like this?”

“What… What do you mean?” Shane pursed his lips, peering at the innocent looking Ryan, then back at Sara.

“I was coming to make copies when Eugene walked by me and told me what you were doing.”

“And… what was I doing?”

The chief leaned in, whispering in Shane's ear.

“He said he walked in on a room with lots of sexual tension. I don't want to hear about that stuff in the office, okay? Especially with your new partner. Keep it clean for God sakes.”

Shane felt his soul leave his body.

“S… Sara. That’s--"

She more or less cut him off when she began to walk away, exiting the conversation.

“I'll leave the info for your next case on your desk. Before you two go out into the field, you'll need to train him. And Ryan...” Sara turned, brows pulled down with a woeful smile on her face. “If Shane doesn't stop making moves on you, come see me in my office, okay?”

And with that, she was gone. Ryan had a big question mark on his face, head cocked.

“What did she mean by that?” Turning to Shane with his hands crossed, Ryan narrowed his eyes. “And what did she tell you? You look like you've seen a ghost.”

Shane’s mouth was wide open, tears in his eyes.

“I couldn't… even tell her that… that wasn't what happened.”

“But what happened, Shane?”

He promptly put up a finger in Ryan's direction.

“You… You shut up Bergara. If you weren't such a little brat this wouldn't have happened.”

“Did you just call me a brat? You're the one trying to suffocate me with your praying mantis body.”

“Just shut up, and meet me at my desk. No more getting coffee for people either, you little shit.”

Ryan was left in the room alone, still confused as hell and irritated as fuck.

  


“This seems unconventional.”

“Shut up, Ryan.”

“Make me, Shane.”

“It's _officer Madej._ ”

“I will never call you that. I flat-out refuse.”

Shane would have punched him right then, but he was sitting at his desk with Ryan now, in front of the whole office. Sara would murder him if he fought with the man now. Especially after her little talk with Shane in the faculty office.

Shane shivered, then pushed the thought of being accused of flirting with his new partner to the back of his head. Gross.

“So we're going undercover after my training, in a prostitution ring working from inside of a strip club. And I have to be the prostitute?”

“If anything, I'm getting the short end of the stick. I have to pay money to fake sleep with you.”

“But, what if someone that isn't you tries to buy time with me?”

“Oh, I doubt they will. I can already tell you're going to make an ugly woman.”

“Wow, okay, fuck you.” Ryan felt the top of his head with his hand, imagining what he was going to look like with long, flowing hair. He wouldn't be _that_ hideous. Right?

“The best part about going undercover is the disguise. So you're going to have to do a lot to look like a convincing woman. And hopefully you know how to dance.” Shane began to make a list of things they need. Tall boots, mini skirt, wig, fake boobs…

“Yeah, and you already look like a creep so your costume is already underway.” Ryan was proud of that one, looking like a triumphant little fuck.

“Okay, what an asshole thing to say,  Bergara. Eat a dick.”

“Which I will be doing if this plan goes wrong.” Ryan looked over at Shane, and they were silent for a second, the words processing in both of their heads. “Okay, why exactly... did I say that?”

Clearing his throat, the conversation continued.

“Uh, anyway.” Shane exhaled, trying to get back on track. “After training we’ll get you in disguise, and then we'll move out at night. That's usually around the time this stuff goes on. According to the paperwork, we already have a girl on the inside that is going to let you in. All you have to do is collect info, take some pictures, send me a signal, and I'll come in and make the bust when the timing is right.”

“This could go wrong in so many ways, why do I have to be the bait?”

“It's probably the hips.” Shane raised an eyebrow, shrugging.

  


It was more than a week of training Ryan had to put up with Shane, which made him sweaty and annoyed. He did obstacle courses, learned how to properly shoot a gun, and more professional garbage that was harder than he anticipated. But he knew nothing would prepare him for what was coming in the next few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe hello I hope that was enough writing to sustain you for a bit ,, it may take me a week or so to muster up chapter two -- honestly when I was writing this, I didn't really break things into chapters, so I'm guesstimating as I go. Hopefully it flows and doesn't seem unsuspenseful and choppy. Please be patient and I hope you like where this is going so far!
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to follow me on twitter @booboogara to yell at me or tell me about what I should do next, I'm always active ;)


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was becoming more apparent what this Ryan character was doing for Shane. A sense of home? Sure, that's what he could call it.  
> It wasn't a big deal, Shane guessed, but the more it went on, the more that longing feeling would tingle in the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! This chapter has lots of angst and weird stuff happening. The slow burn sort of thing kind of fizzles at the end of this, but they're still angry boys so hopefully that sort of butters your eggroll. This chapter is sort of major filler towards the end because I was stuck for a hot second. But yeah! I make these notes too long sigh.
> 
>  
> 
> Trigger warning : prostitution and swearing

“I'm uncomfortable.” 

“You look good!” The undercover specialist, Curly, who specifically worked with costumes, was having Ryan step into a pair of high heels. Shane was waiting outside the costume room in the basement of the station, arms crossed, leaning against the wall.

“Almost done?” He asked, growing impatient. They've been at it for at least two hours.

“Beauty takes a bit, Shane! But we're almost done!” The tall man could tell that Curly was excited by the tone in his voice. “Just gluing on the wig!”

Minutes went by with no words spoken, then the sound of the door opening awakened Shane's senses.

He turned toward the door, blinking a few times as he stared down the woman in front of him.

“Holy. Shit.” 

It was Ryan, all right, but at the same time, it sure as hell wasn't. He was all glammed up, wearing a full face of makeup paired with a dark brown lace front wig. 

The clothes he wore were on the flashy side, a tight black skirt with a tank top and a pink faux fur coat. His fake boobs looked crazy real, making Shane chortle.

But Ryan's shoes were the craziest part. It was at least a three inch heel, very sparkly and strappy. 

“All tucked, bucked, and ready to go!”

“Curly, again, you amaze me. He actually looks somewhat decent.”

“Shut up, Shane.” Ryan took a step forward, his ankles quivering. 

“Wow, you're almost as tall as me now, Bergara. Almost, but not tall enough.”

“Fuck. This really sucks. My legs feel like jelly.” Ryan reached out to hold onto Shane's shoulder for support, but the taller man moved away, causing Bergara to stumble forward.

“You're ready to rule the night, Ryan.” Curly then took Shane by the hand, leading him into the costume room. “Now big boy, let's put you in something a little more sexy. Like, ‘I want to fuck a stripper’ sexy.” 

He hated that, sticking his tongue out in disagreement. Shane was definitely reluctant at first, saying he didn't need anything fancy. But Curly did remark that the club they were to be attending was rather high-end, so he finally agreed after some coaxing.

Ryan walked (very carefully) to the other side of the basement’s office area, where a mirror was, while Shane and Curly were in the other room. He stared at himself for a long minute, striking a pose or two in attempts to get more comfortable and in character. It sort of worked, but he still couldn't walk very well.

The transformation didn't take long, the sound of a handle turning catching Ryan's attention.

“All done.” Curly opened the door, waiting for Bergara to take a look.

Turning around, Ryan's cheeks automatically got red at the sight. There was Shane, usually messy hair slicked back, wearing a suit with a tie loosely dangling around his collar. He played around with his shirt cuffs, then looked up to see Ryan, clearly blushing.

“What's with you?” He was irritated, seeing his partner get all flustered. Though, it made Shane smirk, eyebrows raised with his eyes narrowing. 

“You look… Like shit.” Ryan looked away, brows drawn in. Shane really took what he said to heart, trying his best to bite back.

“Well, you look like cheap too, Ryan. Like a cheap sleazeball. A stupid, dumb looking sleazeball.” 

“You're the one who has to ask to sleep with me, so who's really winning, Shane?” 

“Okay, fuck you.” 

“Guys, guys." Curly put his hands up, smiling from ear to ear. "You're both pretty. Now go do your jobs.” 

Leave it to him to sort things out. 

  
  


It wasn't until sunset that Ryan was ready to leave the black undercover van. Shane sat across from him, handing Ry a small handheld camera. 

“If you get caught taking photos, they'll shoot you with a gun. You get that, right? When you have enough evidence, come out to the floor and I'll pretend to ‘buy’ you, or whatever. Make sure no one else tries to touch you, if they do, use this.” The undercover officer took a panic button pin and pressed it into Ryan's cropped fur coat, pushing the safety back onto it from the other side to keep it in place. “If you press on it, it'll send a beep and your location to my watch that I'm wearing.” Shane tested it out, pushing on the pin. The sleek black timepiece he wore on his left wrist started to emit a beeping sound, along with a flashing red light. “This is for emergencies only, Bergara. You hit this and I will come running. This could potentially compromise the mission, so be fucking careful. Okay?”

“I understand, Officer Madej.” He could be nice when he wanted to be. Ryan spoke with no sarcasm, just straight up agreement. He knew if he was kind to Shane before the mission, it was probably more likely to succeed with minor bumps.

“Now get out and walk to the back door of the club. Our inside girl will let you in.”

“Okay.”

When Ryan left the van without a sound and disappeared into the club, Shane couldn't deny that he started to panic inside, just a bit. Doing missions alone was easy because he didn't have someone to worry about; But now, he had Ryan.

Shane waited a bit before going into the club, but when he did, the smell of musk and the colorful lights paired with dim lighting numbed his senses. There were men, assumed to be rather rich, looking even classier than Shane surrounding small stages littered around the floor. On these said stages, a single pole and a dancer was showing off their moves, some wearing skimpy, quirky outfits, some barely clothed. Shane felt around his pocket for the huge wad of cash he was given. It was a shame all this money was for Ryan.

Meanwhile, the small boy was in the back area as a skinny blonde girl showed him around.

“Wow, you don't look like an undercover cop. You're a pretty beautiful girl, Officer.” She said when they met.

“I'm a man.” Ryan couldn't help but answer coolly, slightly flattered.

“Oh shit. I'm sorry.”

It wasn't long before Ryan began snapping pictures of the dirty beds and clothes scattered around the upstairs area of the club.

“This is where they take us to sleep with customers,” the woman explained. “I can show you my boss’ office next. He has files on all the girls, along with blackmail to keep us from leaving and going to the police.”

“I'd appreciate it.” Ryan was upset to say the least, but he was mostly worried that he and this girl were going to get caught snooping around and killed on site.

When he took enough photos and was ready to get out of there, the woman wished him luck, explaining to him how to get onto the floor so he could safely meet up with Shane.

Although, when he got out there, he was more than overwhelmed. 

Men were everywhere, throwing money, whistling, drinking. Ryan wanted to just run out the doors. But he knew he couldn't. He began to really worry, wondering if he should press the button on his jacket.  _ No, Ryan, emergencies only. _

He looked around for Shane, but when an older, chubby bald man came up to him, he was scared out of his mind, frozen.

“Hey, beautiful. First time seeing you here. You workin' the back, tonight? How much?” 

Ryan just stood still, quiet, staring at the floor as if the man would go away after a while. When he didn't, and grabbed Bergara by the jaw with one hand, pulling him close, he felt like his heart was going to burst. Ry mentally called out for Shane, anyone, to help him.

“Can you not talk or something, bitch?” His grip on Ryan's face got tighter, and his cheeks started to tingle.

“Hey, hey. I'll take it from here.” There was Shane, taking the man by the forearm, forcing him to drop his grip on Bergara's face.

The man was taken aback, turning to Shane with a stupid looking smile.

“You're saying you want her?”

“Obviously. She seems like a good fuck.” Shane pressed his hand into Ryan's lower back, pulling him closer.

Oh  _ God. _ Ryan’s face undoubtedly looked like a tomato, and his eyes begin to water out of pure embarrassment with a little mix of fear. How could Shane just  _ say  _ that with a straight face? He was more than good at his job, all right. Though, it still made Ryan tense up. By now he looked a hell of a less confident than before.

“How much?” The round man took Ryan by the arm when he didn't answer, promptly pulling him away from Shane. “I'm asking how much you cost.” 

“... F-Five thousand.” His voice was small, frail, cracking. The feminine little pitch he applied to his voice was there, but it still  _sounded_ like Ryan. And he sounded fucking desperate. 

Shane couldn't help but frown, wanting to just scoop up Ryan and pull him out of here.

“I have that right here.” As the undercover cop began to dig around his pocket, the fatter man let out a bellowing laugh.

“Oh, I'll double that, easy.” Just like that, he took out ten thousand dollars, in cash no doubt, shoving it towards Ryan. He eagerly awaited the undercover boy to pocket it, and when he did, the man took him by the hand. “Come on, let's go.”

_ Oh fuck.  _ Ryan thought.  _ Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm dead. I'm dead. He's going to find out I'm a man, and that I'm undercover, and kill me. _

He turned his head as far as he could to look at Shane before he and the large man went into the back. 

All Shane did was bite down on his lip, nodding to his partner.

“I'll find a way.”

This was not very reassuring to Ryan. 

By the time Ry had led the man to a room, being extra careful to not break out of character and ruin the whole mission, he was sweating, almost crying. He wholeheartedly believed he was going to die. And, as soon as the two were alone in the room together, Ryan was pushed to the floor. The bald man exerted little to no force. The younger man smacked down on impact, one hundred percent shaken up and ready to cry out.

But, upon impact, unexpectedly, that tiny camera flew out of Ryan's jacket pocket, landing on the ground and accidentally snapping a photo. This was completely unanticipated, and as soon as it happened, Ryan couldn't help but have the sensation of dread thoroughly creep into his mind. It startled the bigger man as the flash went off in his face, and that's when Ry knew it was over for sure. 

“A fucking camera?” It took a second to process everything in this guy's mind. “You're not a dancer, are you?” He paused, and his face was easily readable. The man’s mind was racing, jumping to conclusions. He was filling himself up with rage and anger. “I bet you and that guy downstairs are in cahoots, trying to extort and blackmail the rich or some shit. Well I'll tell you right now, you're _fucking_ dead, asshole."  He came down on Ryan faster than the short man could protest, wrapping his hands around Bergara's neck. Shaking Ryan's head around like he was some sort of lifeless doll. the undercover male couldn't help but get dizzy, unsure of where to look or what to do. It took a second to swallow everything that was going down, but as soon as Ryan understood the actual danger he was in, he reached for the pin on his jacket, gulping for air. 

 

While he was on the floor devising a plan, Shane’s watch began to light up, and he got the message, knowing Ryan was either dying or dead. And so without hesitation, he tore through the curtain leading to the back of the club, running up the stairs to search the rooms. He was checking the location on his watch, busting through all the doors he came in contact with and looking inside.

“Fu-ck, get off of me…!” 

A loud thump sounded off in the back of the hallway behind a closed door, prompting Shane to sprint towards it, pounding on the shut door. His knocking was fast, continuous, and it seemed never-ending.

“Ryan? Ryan, you’re in there, right?”

Reaching his hand out, the smaller boy tried to push his attacker away, but he was too weak to fight it. The man seemed to get quicker in his action, really trying to kill Bergara. He knew he could get caught in the act of murdering Ryan now that Shane was there, so the bald male tried to speed up the process.

“Sh--Shan--” 

The stranger began to strangle him tighter so he wasn't able to speak, and that's when Ryan's limbs began to shake and tingle. He was going to really pass out soon. And then after that... He knew what would happen.

As Ryan's eyes rolled into the back of his head, he could hear the sound of wood breaking, and suddenly he was released, falling to the floor with his chest heaving.

Needless to say, Shane was on top of the attacker, punching him in the face at the first chance he could get, thoroughly bloodying his knuckles. 

“Fucking… asshole!” The pounding of fist against face continued for a few seconds, and then there was a grunt. The man landed one big hit square in the middle of Shane's face, knocking him back onto the floor a few feet.

“Backup…” Ryan sputtered, rolling around the floor, vision blurring. He could hear the two men fighting, but his brain couldn't comprehend it. 

Shane was making sounds that Ryan hated to hear. It was clear that he was getting his shit kicked in, and the shorter male couldn't do anything to help. Minutes went by that seemed like hours, and then there was nothing. A sound of a gun being cocked was the last thing he heard before Ryan reluctantly closed his eyes, passing out.

  
  


 

“Ryan? Are you awake?”

Bergara opened his eyes, looking around. He was in a hospital. That was for sure. But how did he get there? Looking over, he locked eyes with Shane. Holy shit, he was beat up. His lip was freshly busted open, bloody, and there was a long cut across his nose, bruises speckled across Madej's face. Not to mention his bandaged, shaky hands. He wasn't wearing that suit anymore, just a flannel under a zip up hoodie with ripped jeans.

“Shane.” Ryan croaked, swallowing a bit of saliva before continuing. “Shane, what happened?” 

“I pulled out my gun then called in backup. The prostitution ring got busted. The mission, it was a success.”

“Shit, you're…” Taking one of his hands out from under the blanket covering him, Ryan moved it towards Shane's face, wiping the blood from his lip with his thumb. The air between them two in this moment seemed to be somewhat different for the both of them, since they were locking eyes and not currently yelling at each other.

“I’m, uh... okay. You should see the other guy.” 

“How… How did you call for backup?”

“I had a pin on my jacket like you did. It was rigged to go off in the van, so the rest of the team knew when to come in and bail us out, if they needed to. And it worked.”

“I wish I thought of that.”

An awkward silence enveloped them.

“Do you… feel any better? You did almost die.” Shane was twiddling with his hands, avoiding Ryan's eyes.

“Me, almost die? You had it worse than I did. You look terrible. I shouldn't look that bad, unless I’m still dressed as a girl.”

“No, they took all of that off when you got into the hospital. You look… normal. For the most part.” Leaning forward, Shane gently pulled Ryan’s hospital gown down below his collarbones, placing his fingertips softly on the bruises around his neck. “You didn't come out completely unscathed, though.” 

Ryan squirmed under Shane's touch, uncomfortable with the sudden feeling of fingers dancing across his sensitive skin. When the taller boy took note of this, he retracted his hand, clearing his throat. The two were quiet for a moment, then Ryan scratched at the back of his head, speaking up.

“I feel like I've been asleep for days.”

“It's only been a few hours.” 

It was brightly lit in the hospital hall, but Ryan's room was dim, making him yawn.

“I'm ready to leave, Shane. I hate hospitals.”

“You should just sleep here. It's already like, three in the morning.” 

“Please don't make me stay here.” There were those puppy dog eyes again. It hurt Shane's heart to see it. 

“I won't make you. Come on, get dressed.” 

“I don't have any clothes with me.”

“I brought you some. I hope you can fit into my size.” 

It was just a flannel, some old sweatpants, and shoes that were a size or two too big for Ryan, but he was still appreciative.

 

As Ryan and Shane walked out of the hospital, the wind bit at their cheeks, making them shiver. Shane got his keys out from his jacket pocket, beginning to twirl them around his finger. 

“Where do you live? My car’s over there. I'll drive you home.” He kept walking towards his suv, but when he realized that Ryan wasn't next to him, Shane froze, turning around. 

The boy’s head was lowered, and he kicked at the parking lot asphalt. They were more than a few feet away, and even though Ryan was whispering, it was like Shane's senses were heightened, so he could hear everything.

A gust of wind blew past, and there was an exhale.

“I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have a home.” Ryan sheepishly began to smile, holding himself by his forearms. It was pretty cold for a New York night. “I was just going to sleep at the station, so if you could take me there, I'd appreciate it.”

Shane looked to the sky, then looked out into the parking lot, cursing under his breath. 

“Shit, Ryan,” He said. Beginning to approach his partner, Shane leaned forward and put a hand on Ryan's shoulder, looking him straight in the face. “You mean all this time, during training and everything, you've been sleeping in the office?” Shane waited for the male to nod, then let out a sigh. “You can stay with me if you're fine with sleeping on a couch.” When the other man said nothing, Madej shook him ever so slightly. “Hey. Look at me.” 

Ryan couldn't bear to stare into Shane's eyes like this, but he followed as he was told. It felt funny to him, since the last time he was commanded to do so he was getting yelled at.

“Don’t look so upset. I still hate you, but I'm not gonna let you sleep on the floor in the office. Okay?”

With a nod, the conversation ended, and they went to Shane's car silently.

  
  


Shane's apartment smelled just like his clothes; it was like a candle store with a mix of some sort of manly scent, and Ryan really liked it. It felt cozy to him. It was a figurative blanket he could wrap himself up in and sleep with forever.

The lanky boy put a pillow from his bedroom on the couch, and gave Ry a fluffy blanket to sleep with. 

“Your apartment is cute.” Ryan grinned, trying to make the moment less tense and awkward for him. He was sleeping in his coworker’s house. A coworker that he absolutely despised up until now. Well, nothing said he  _ didn't _ hate him right now.

“Yeah, just don't steal anything.” Shane was kidding when he spoke, but it hit Ryan hard, majorly putting him off.

“Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone so I can sleep.” Plopping down on the couch, Ry took the soft blanket and covered himself with it as he sat upright.

“Woah, okay, where did that come from? Just when I thought we were getting along, you had to open your big mouth and be a little shit, Bergara.” Shane, forcefully in one movement, took his hand and pushed it into Ryan's collarbone, pinning him against the back of the sofa. “You're lucky you're not sleeping out on the street or in the office tonight.”

His grip was awful close, if not on Ryan's lower neck bruises, causing the shorter man to grimace. He tried to hold a straight face, but when Shane pushed a little harder, Bergara let a sharp whimper, eyes shut tight. 

Shane quickly retracted his hand. 

“Fuck, Ryan. Are you okay? That was totally my fault just then, I don't know why I--” He rushed to his side, sitting next to Bergara and moving the male’s flannel out of the way so he could see the damage he had done. The skin was red, but it didn't look too bad. “You know I didn't mean to--” Ryan was quick to bat Shane's hand away, cheeks pink. He was clearly irritated.

“Just leave it alone. I don't need you to look at it.” 

“I just--” 

“Forget it.” Ryan didn't want to push Shane off the couch nor put his hands on him, because he was more injured than Bergara was. He just looked away, waiting for the taller man to get the picture. It took Shane a few seconds, and Ryan could feel the male's eyes burning a hole in the back of his head. But eventually, he got up and went into his room, shutting the door, not another word spoken.

 

 

Ryan guessed he slept pretty well, since he hadn't been on anything remotely that comfortable in years. 

When he woke up, Shane was cooking breakfast in his open kitchen, silently flipping pancakes. His yawn was what made Shane look over at him, a sort of weird, sheepish smile on his face.

“Morning.”

Ryan didn't reply at first, fully remembering what happened last night. But he was grateful knowing he wasn't kicked out halfway through the night, and therefore reciprocated. 

“Good morning.”

“I made pancakes. Want some?”

“No, I'm fine.”

“You'll get an upset stomach if you don't eat.” Shane wanted to kick himself in the teeth. He sounded like a concerned mother. It made him want to die. 

Since when did he start giving a shit about Ryan? He was a little asshole that didn't deserve to be Shane's partner.

“Okay, I'll have some then.” 

But alright, Shane had to admit he was a bit confused when Ryan complied. Half of him didn't expect Bergara to.

He got a plate out for his guest and made him sit at the table like a little kid, asking if he wanted anything to drink.

“I'm fine.” Ryan replied, beginning to eat the pancakes with his hands at quite a fast pace.

“Hey, you're going to get the hiccups if you eat fast like that.” Shane quickly filled a glass up with water without thinking, putting it down next to Ryan's plate. 

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stop treating him like this. He's not your responsibility.  _

“Mm, thanks.” Ryan had cheeks full of pancakes, and his face looked as if it was shining. He took a sip of the water, then kept eating. 

It was the happiest Shane had ever seen him. 

“What are we doing at work today?” Ryan was done eating now, leaning back in his chair, patting his belly. That was fast.

“I don't know.” Shane watched him, His insides suddenly feeling warm.  _ What the fuck?  _ Furrowing his brows, the taller male took a bit ruder of an approach, trying to shake the odd sensation he was getting. If he was a bit mean, Ryan would stay away. Right? 

Shane's voice rose, and he stood with his arms crossed. “Why don't you go into the station and figure it out yourself? That is your job. I don't get why I have to be your little babysitter. You're a fucking chore.” 

Ryan just blinked, staring at his plate. He didn't understand why Shane suddenly was acting this way. He was just as bad though, thinking back to what he said yesterday night.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess I should.” Pushing away from the table, the legs of the chair harshly scraping against the tile floor as Ryan moved. “Listen, officer Madej. I want to say that I'm really thankful for you letting me stay here for the night. Even cooking me breakfast was nice. I definitely overstayed my welcome. I'm gonna get going.” 

That was single-handedly the nicest thing Ryan had ever said to the cop, and it made him freeze in his place. 

“You're going to walk all the way to the station?” Watching Bergara walk to the door made Shane feel helpless somehow.

“Yes. I can take the alleys to be safe.”

“Ryan, don't be an idiot.” 

This made the shorter man turn in his place, staring Shane down as his hand hit the doorknob. 

“I'm sorry, Shane.” Ryan’s face said it all. He was livid to say the least. “I just am. I'm an idiot, a fucking thief that doesn't deserve another chance at living normally. Right? You know everything about me, and you hate every  _ single _ bit of what I am. You purposely get under my skin because you want me to be the one to fuck up. I'm useless to you and to your team. That's what you think, isn't it?”

“Ryan, I didn't know. I really didn't read your file--”

“Of course you didn't read it. Why would you care that much about me? You don't even need to know that much to fucking despise me. I shouldn't have trusted you enough to come into your apartment. And for what? To finally sleep on something other than concrete? The chance at having company? For maybe the chance of someone to finally stop looking down on me? You even said to my face that you hated me, yet I still looked at you and thought--” Cutting himself off, he bit down on his lip as hard as he could, finally breaking the fiery gaze he gave Shane.

“Thought what, Ryan? You've already started making your point, you may as well finish it.”

Hesitant to speak at first, it took a second for Bergara to finally open his mouth.

“I thought you actually considered me your partner.” 

That was it? Shane thought it would be something groundbreaking or even romantic. Why was he thinking this way? With a sigh, Madej shook his head, speaking rather desperately, trying to get Ryan to listen.

“You-- of course I consider you my partner. If I didn't I wouldn't have let you sleep here. And I wouldn't have saved you from that fucking asshole at the club! You're not getting the big picture.” Just minutes ago, Shane was trying to push his feelings away, but now he was trying to justify them, trying to squeeze them back into his tiny, uninhibited heart. “You don't get it. I might treat you like shit sometimes, and we might yell at each other, but I give a shit about you. At first I didn't care about your file, sure. I could have stopped at any time before now to read it after I got to know you, but I didn't want to. I don't want to know your troubled past, or all that stupid bad shit you've been through. I just want to know you, Bergara. I want to know my partner as he is, not as he fucking was. Does that make sense to you at all?”

Ryan's lip was quivering, his eyes wet as he stood with furrowed brows, hands shaking.

“No. It doesn't make sense.”

The slamming of the door made Shane jump and close his eyes. His chest was heaving, and his face felt hot. 

Was he really just going to walk out like that?

Shane half expected Ryan to walk back in crying, apologizing, hugging him.

But he didn't know Ryan long, and that's really what pissed him off. How come he cared so much? It made Shane want to rip his hair out.

 

On the car ride to the station, Shane kept an eye out for Ryan, watching the sidewalk as he drove by. But, he didn't see him. If he did, he would have pulled over, stumbled out of his car, and fumbled with his words, trying to convince Ryan to forgive him. 

Wait, was that what he would do? Shane shook his head, hands gripping the wheel. Who cares if they didn't get along or understand each other? No skin off his back. He'd just go on with his job, dreading a partner like before, going through the motions. Nodding, Shane mentally agreed with himself.  _ That's right. Ryan can sleep on the floor in the faculty room. He can look in my direction and hate me just as much as I hate him.  _

 

Sitting at his desk, twiddling his pencil in between his fingers, Shane let out a frustrated puff of air. Ryan wasn't here yet, meaning he was late for work. Badly late.

When the front doors opened and a huffing, heaving mess of boy came in, Shane didn't even bother to look up. He knew who it was. And Sara was waiting.

“You're late, Bergara.” Standing with her arms crossed, the chief of police stared him down. It was times like this where Sara was too intimidating for words. “Just because you're an ex-convict doesn't mean you get to make a schedule for yourself. You've never been late before, and frankly, I’m disappointed in you. After what happened that got you locked up in the first place, I expected you to care more about your presentation in the workplace.” 

“I'm sorry, I just… lost track of time.”

“Lost track? You're almost considered part of the force. How can you just ‘lose track?’ How--” 

“Sara, give him a break.” Standing from his desk, Shane looked too confident for himself to handle, hands on his hips and a gleam in his eye. The two at the door looked over at him, questioning his next move. He wasn't done talking. “... Is… what I'd say if I cared. Go ahead, boss. Chew him a new asshole.”

“Fuck you, Shane.” 

With a shrug, giving Ryan no attention at all, Madej went to go sit back down in his chair, but Sara's strong, unwavering voice stopped him.

“Shane.” 

“Yes...?”

“Don't think you're getting off the hook. Since Ryan is your partner, you two get to receive punishment together. Go into the faculty room and clean it, top to bottom. I'll know if you cut corners. After that, go out to the gym room and sweat it out. The tension between you two is  _ excruciating.  _ You both seem like you could use some quality time together.”

“I'd rather choke, thank you.” Ryan began to walk away from Sara, going God knows where, until she put a hand on his shoulder.

“If you disobey your superior, I'll have to report it to the higher ups. Don't make me do that to you, Ryan.” 

Wiping a hand down his face, Bergara exhaled, agreeing. All he murmured was: “I'm going to scream.”

“Oh man, this is going to be a  _ loving _ time full of bonding and teamwork. It's just what we need! Thanks, chief.” 

“Sarcasm isn't going to get you out of your punishment. Now go.”

  
  


The cleaning wasn't the hard part. The faculty room stayed pretty tidy for the most part, except for coffee grounds spilled on the counter every so often. Shane wiped down a table top, and across the room, Ryan began hand washing the sticky mugs and cups in the cabinet. They stayed silent most of the time. Only a few words were exchanged while they straightened up together.

“So this is where you're going to sleep?” Shane wasn't necessarily sarcastic in his words. His tone was mostly flat.

“Don't talk to me.”

 

After their cleaning, it was straight to the indoor gym, and somehow Shane didn't mind being alone with Ryan here, since the room was pretty big and spacious. They could be far away from each other, not even having to bother acknowledging both of their presences. Shane was changing into something comfortable in his work locker, and when he came out wearing shorts and a loose shirt, it hit him that Ryan had nothing else to wear.

He was wearing something different some days, but today he just wore the flannel and jeans Shane had lent him. When he wore clothes the taller man had never seen before, Shane figured he just stole from the lost and found. But not everything was appropriate for this kind of weather they were having. 

Ryan was standing up, lifting weights, huffing frustratedly in the pair of loose jeans and the plaid shirt. Shane went right up to him, hands in his hips.

“I can go in the lost and found and find you something better to wear.”

Through inhales and exhales, Ryan shook his head.

“Fuck off, Shane.”

He was really testing Madej’s patience. 

“I know you're mad, Bergara, but don't  _ act  _ like that.” 

“I said.” Ryan dropped the weights and stood right in front of Shane, testing his luck. He could easily be hit right now. “Fuck. Off.”

“I'm warning you.” Taking a step forward, Shane crinkled up his nose and the bandage on it began to fold. He was inches away from Ryan, but neither of them stepped down or looked away.

“Go screw yourself.” 

“Don't push me, Ryan.”

“You're an asshole.” 

“Seriously, don't--”

“Fuck you.” 

This seemed to be the last straw for Shane, taking a fistful of Ryan's shirt with one hand and pulling him in. 

It wasn't like sparks flying, rather some sort of forced firework. Shane's stubble reminded Ryan of something like sandpaper, scraping ever so slightly across his jawline. It somewhat tickled. Their chests pressed up against each other, and he could feel both their hearts pounding. It plainly, was messy. Madej's lips roughly moved against Ryan's, but the harshness of it eventually softened. It only lasted a second, the shorter boy trying push away with all the force he could exert. For his first kiss, he couldn't imagine it would be with…  _ Shane. _

As soon as they broke apart, Bergara was a hollering, stuttering, rambling mess.

“W-What the hell? Why the  _ fuck  _ would you do that?” Wiping at his mouth on his shirt sleeve repeatedly, Ryan couldn't help but blush, his first experience making him feel butterflies. His chest hurt.

Shane just took a step back, eyes wide. He wasn't feigning ignorance, but he didn't feel particularly bad about it. It was Ryan's reaction that made him clench his fists and feel uncomfortable.

“I-It was an accident!”

“You don't just  _ kiss _ someone on accident!”

Oh shit, yeah, he guessed Ryan did have a point. 

“Well, you can stop wiping your mouth. That's kind of overkill, isn't it?” 

“It's not overkill, because I hated every second of it.”

“Then why are your cheeks so red?”

“It was my first kiss!” Ryan spoke shamelessly, so worked up to the point where he didn't care. 

“Really? I thought you would have kissed a lot of guys in prison.” 

Outraged, with as much strength as he could produce, Bergara casted his hand across Shane's cheek. It clearly hurt, since Madej was already fucked up from the mission. 

Ryan's voice was shaky, and he was clearly trembling.

“I don't care if I'm thrown out on the street and I starve to death. There's no way I'm going to stay here and be your partner.”

“Bullshit.” Shane was rubbing out his red cheek, trying his best not to get angry. He was beat up by some creep a day before, but for some reason the adrenaline that came with a hit or two wasn't here. It just made Shane feel sad. “We have big mission coming up, and I can't do this alone.”

“Oh, but you could do it by yourself before I was here, right?” 

“You don't fucking get it, Bergara!” Talking with his hands now, Shane rolled his eyes, letting out a frustrated puff of air. “This is what they put you in here for. This is one of the biggest busts the cops here have ever  _ done _ . Our team needed backup and they thought you had what we needed. But if you're going to let your pissy little anger fits towards me get in the way, I really guess you aren't qualified.” Shane knew his words would strike Bergara hard, making him want to stay. Ryan sucked on his bottom hip, brows furrowing.

“So you're saying you need me.”

“Me? Oh God no, I don't need you. The team does.” That was clearly an outright lie.

“Say that you need me, Shane, and I'll stay.” 

For a second, Madej didn't say  _ anything _ . He was contemplating. What if he didn't say anything and stayed silent? What would happen to Ryan? Would he still continue to participate in the force? Or would he be put on the street? But if that happened, he'd be out of Shane's hair. 

_ No, what kind of fucked up person would want that? _

Shane inhaled, then gave the shorter male the strongest eye contact he had ever given a person before. One exhale, and his mouth opened.

“Ryan Bergara, I need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to @hotdagadamn on twitter (aka Tyler the loml) for proofreading this! If she didn't I'd have a few super embarrassing typos and sentences that really didn't make any sense. Thank u love!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @booboogara for updates on the fic, or just hit me up with a writing prompt if you want! I have a lot of time on my hands, haha. Thanks for the support with my other Unsolved story as well! Even though it's just a oneshot I got a lot of love :D


End file.
